mama things....

I just need to take a minute to vent. In an effort to not take it out on my husband or kiddos I feel this may be the best place to relieve some stress. Here goes...

I am having a baby in 3 days...no for real...Im scheduled for a C Section on Tuesday the 21st. This last trimester of pregnancy actually has not been so bad, with my other 2 pregnancies I was already very uncomfortable and irritable by like week 36. I am just now starting to feel it. Well, it started last week at 38 weeks. I find my patience getting REALLY thin, and I pride myself on how much I usually have when it comes to kids and life etc. Not now...not these last two weeks. I love my kids, and my hubs, but a part of me is ready for the hospital stay that follows a C section b/c I will be alone...well, with my newest little one, but at least this one will sleep most the time, and cant yell at me or refuse to eat or trash my house etc. 

I find myself yelling at my kids over the stupidest little things. Things that would annoy me normally (like my kid taking the top off his cup and spilling milk all over my couch) are annoying me x10. I hate raising my voice, but it seems the only way to get through to them. And most the time THAT doesn't even work. They are 3.5 and 22 months and they don't take me seriously. 

My body is sore. Yesterday was the worst so far. I think I was having those lovely Braxton Hicks contractions for a good 3/4 of the day. It was a TV and do whatever you want day with my boys pretty much b/c I could barely move. I know they are small, and that "clean up" is a hard concept for them to grasp...(well my oldest knows what it means and how to do it, but its a constant battle and I usually end up just doing it, I know...bad idea) but I cant help but become annoyed by this either. I feel like this awful mom b/c as much as I love my kids...I want and need a break so bad.

Its not just them either...next rant: dear husband, who I love with ALL my being and it totally my best friend and partner in life...he either DOESN'T get how I feel...or he does but completely ignores it b/c its too much for him to handle. I am clearly uncomfortable, I have to take tubs like every nite to soak my aching hips and belly...yet he will watch me attempt to bend over to pick up toys, or slowly lower myself to the floor b/c bending is not an option. He will watch me carry our youngest upstairs, or carry laundry upstairs. He will sit on the couch while I clean up the kitchen after the dinner that I just cooked. I dont think he does it to be insensitive...I just really think he doesn't get it. He is so used to that being the norm...and b/c of that I get bitter. I dont usually say anything, I just wonder why on Earth he doesnt realize I could use help and ask. I WANT him to offer up some help...but there he sits, oblivious...playing on his phone, in front of the tv. Dont worry dear, I got it...again...like every freaking day and nite prior. WAKE UP HONEY!!!!! 

Anyways...again for the record...I LOVE my kids and I LOVE my husband. If it sounds like I am complaining...well I am lol...Im 39 weeks pregnant. If you have been pregnant before I guarantee you know where Im coming from. 

For times like this I turn to things that could perhaps help me to calm the heck down. Today I pulled out some essential oils, a book and a beverage. I sat on the couch while one kid napped and the other kept himself busy. There were dishes to do and laundry to be folded but I left it. Which is hard for me b/c I get slight anxiety thinking of a dirty sink and unfolded clothes. But I have learned after kids that sometimes it is ok to say NO. I dont take enough time for me as I should...it is really tough to fit it in. The hubs finds a reason to be gone most the day (its lay off season for construction which means goof off time for him) Shit sorry...theres that bitterness happening again. 

I did manage to get my toes done this am before getting on the operating table Tuesday. I got a whole hour and a half to myself. 

As soon as I was home the hubs took off to "go wash the dog beds at the laundry mat" it has been 5 hours and I still haven't seen him. (See what I mean? I seriously needed to vent b/c I might lose it on someone else)

So here we are....2.5 days til baby.  I can only imagine what life will be like once this little comes home with us. I cannot wait to meet baby...and I am blessed to have the family that I do. But sometimes mama life gets to me (gets to us all) and I have to step back and take a breath or 3...I have never felt stress like I have the last 3 years since becoming a mom. Its mostly good times...but I never truly knew what true stress was until parenthood.  I hope sanity finds me soon lol.

much love...            

hello January !

it finally feels like winter here in the eastern part of my home state. it has been snowing the better part of 4 hours. its gray outside but it sure does look pretty. the mood is totally set right now: one kid is napping, one is having his quiet time in his room with the ipad, and the hubs got called out to plow. not that i love that part, i miss the days of getting snowed in with him and having cocktails and watching movies...but its quiet here! 

my kids will be down here shortly and the loveliness will be interrupted...but for now i am enjoying and soaking up every second. 

 

mmmmmmmmmm

if youre having a snow day/nite...I hope youre enjoying it!

xo

30 DAYS OF HYGGE CHALLENGE

happy new year!!

 i recall posting last year about how i dont make resolutions. that much has not changed. i dont make resolutions because i cannont commit to a year long promise. things and situations happen and sometimes it gets in the way. i instead like to make goals and set them for a shorter time frame to see if i can actually stick with them. i find it more fun, and more likely for me to achieve them this way. 

there are a few things i have in mind already but im going to only mention one. and you are welcome to try this along with me! if you read my last post, i mentioned the word HYGGE which is the danish word that basically means "cozy". it is a lifestyle that they believe in and follow regularly in denmark. without knowing it prior, we are already pretty "hyggeligt" in our home. i am totally one of those people that in the colder months would rather stay in, curl up by the woodstove with a mug of tea or coffee, a book or a good movie. i like our living room to especially give off that vibe when you walk in it. my kitchen and our bedrooms can be whatever lol...but i ALWAYS make sure the living room is clean and cozified. when i watched a show on the "danes" and then read a couple books about this wonderful word it became clear to me that it is EXACTLY what i strive for. so, if you have not heard of it, look it up. read some blogs, it honestly makes me want to move to Denmark lol. everything feels so rushed here...

i mean, how can you not love this...

ANYWAY: i am a member of some HYGGE groups on facebook and i follow a few blogs. there was a post put up called "30 days of hygge challenge" and it is for the month of january. every day you have a new task. and if nothing else, it is the perfect excuse to open up the mind and get creative, or have some personal time, etc...lets get to the challenge:

 as of right now i should be up to day 3...i def have not been up to see the sunrise (ooops...but im 7 months pregnant and i deal with a 3 and 1 yr old all day...im tiiiiiiirrred lol) maybe ill fit in somewhere;)

i do have a journal, but what i was thinking was trying to document via the blog b/c it might keep me on track more than doing it during the day elsewhere. i dunno...maybe ill just write in the journal and share it in a photo post. i am going to start this TONITE folks. i got my kids in bed early, the hubs is deep into "outside tv" so i have some time. im pumped. take a look at some of these...this should be no problem. Day 16..."can you wear slippers all day?" Are you giving me permission 30 day challenge? b/c i totally will lol. 

i personally feel like this is a good beginning to 2017...at least for me. like i said i need to start small. vowing to do something for a whole year, at the BEGINNING of the year just does not work for me. the only commitment im really good at is being faithful to my husband haha, other than that...not so much. if you are like me, maybe this is a good first step for you. feel free to follow along as i attempt the next 30 days.

side note: if you are interested in this concept of HYGGE, here are some great books to get you started. I have read the first two and am expecting the "little book" soon (I won a signed copy!!!)

have a great nite!!

xo

a moment with myself...for once

it has been 6 months since i last sat down and had the time to write. it has been a BUSY 6 months! dealing with 2 small children every day is no easy feat. My youngest now 1.5 went from being my mellow and snuggly little man to the sneaky "gets in to EVERYTHING" adorable little trouble maker! I am nervous to see how number three turns out. My oldest was a crazy baby...who has calmed down and is now just acting like a 3 yr old. So what will it be, another crazy baby or a mellow one that turns on me? I am not sure any amount of coffee can prepare me for whats about to go down 3 months from now. 

so the winter months are upon us. we had our first "snow" if you want to call it that, yesterday. my 3 year old was ecstatic. he thinks that snow means santa is coming lol. it may be my fault for telling him that Christmas happens during the snowy season, and because of that as the snow quickly started melting yesterday afternoon, he was super sad that santa hadnt come. i try to explain to him that we still have a few weeks. he is three. he doesnt listen to much of what i say anyways.

I have never been a lover of winter that is for sure. my husband on the other hand adores it. well, when he is able to enjoy it. he is a bad ass skier and enjoys all sorts of winter activities. Unfortuently the down fall of being the only one that works in our family means that if there is work in the winter...he usually has to take it. he works construction and gets laid off in December. He used to be able to enjoy the season off, now he plows snow or works side jobs when he can. (sorry babe! few more years and i swear ill help!!!) Anyways, back to me...the upside to me being home is that i can actually ENJOY winter. I dont have to get up early, start the car and drive in crappy weather on shitty roads to work. i can stay in my sweats, in my bath robe, enjoy a cup of coffee by the wood stove and watch the snow fall. THAT is a wonderful thing. I will always be grateful for that. (thank you hubby) I can take my kids outside and play on the days the winds arent blowing the house over. (Pulling 2 kids on a sled with a third trimester belly will be interesting lol...)

there is something about the cozyness of winter. i have always loved being cozy. i grew up in a house that was always like that. my mother was never one to allow clutter in the home. and she still hates it to this day. but there was a spot in almost every area of the house that was cozy. that is the type of home that i want. i do think my home has some of that atmosphere, but what really needs to happen is that i need to purge a lot of things in my home and start from scratch. its tough to make anything look nice when you have littles running around destroying everything, not to mention toys under foot in every inch of space. but when i truly sit and think about the kin dof vibes i want my home to give off...that is exactly what i want. i want ppl to come into my home and feel instant warmth. not just physically...but overall. happiness too. 

id switch out the chairs...but "mmmmmmm"

 now, i had watched a documentary at one point a while back on the Danish people and how they live. they have been called one of the "happiest places to live" in the world.  some of it had to do with stress free finances (but i wont get into the part where 60% of their pay goes towards taxes!) the one thing that was mentioned was the practice of something called "HYGGE" and after learning about it, I have fallen in love. they say there is no real translation in english, but here is what it means in a nut shell:

it is drinking wine with friends, sipping coffee by a fire on a cold day, relaxing under a blanket with candle light and a good book, quiet, good food, social time, etc...basically its amazing. The Danish believe in 35 hour work weeks and NO work on weekends. they believe any time after is for family time. that is what they value...not money. how can you not love that? I was so struck that I ordered and read two books on the subject. I have another one coming, and I even made a pinterest board lol. what can i say...can we move there? we are so used to rushing around in our country...work and money and schooling and work etc...that unless you have a shit ton of money and your financial situation is stress free...you often dont have time to just sit and enjoy life. retirement doesnt happen til we are older, and even then the age of this "possibility" is going up!! who wants to be in their 70s to finally be able to slow down and appreciate things. not me! not my husband! so what do we do now? in this time where we are in our 30s? 

i start slow. i try to incorporate some of the ideas that others are using to achieve the things that we want. de clutter. re think the set up in my home. i began to think, "if i was my husband coming in after a long day of working outside, what would make the work day stress fade away when i walked in the front door" HYGGE baby. or at least my own version of it. sometimes you need to take lessons from people or places you are un familiar with. you never hear anything bad about the Danish on tv...wonder why that is? they are preoccupied with being happy!!! 

time to take notes people. im not one to jump on bandwagons. I see things all over the internet...people flood facebook and pinterest with up lifting quotes, and pictures of things they want and how they intend to live. i know that at this time in my life, when things are going to be the most crazy as we welcome the arrival of our third and final child...i really need to make the changes needed to create the atmosphere i want to try and keep things as sane and as happy as possible. the stress factor has doubled and is about to triple in 3 months. 

heres hoping i can do it!

when life hands you lemons...you toss them in the fridge, grab a cup of coffee, put your hand on your head and think "what have we gotten ourselves into!"

i took a much needed break from writing a couple months ago. and honestly it's still needed. i have been trying to do so many things at once i MAY have over estimated my abilities lol. long story short, i have picked up two work from home (temporary) side jobs, i just opened my Etsy shop for my natural product business "naturali nourished" AND im raising two littles who keep me on my toes all day long. Oh, and to add to that mess....we just found out i'm growing another human being! if super mom exists...well i'm not her haha.

true story

of course with the little life growing inside me, that means my caffeine consumption will be substantially lower. which wont help my current situation. dont even get me started on the loss of my wine:( Ok im not a huge drinker as it is, but let me tell you how much i appreciate the rare glass of moscato! only 34 weeks to go! 

i do have to say i am pretty pumped about my etsy shop. it is quite a tedious task setting one up. and it kinda stinks that they charge fees to list items and then when you sell. but it is what it is. i love the idea of making products people can feel good about using. its so disappointing to see all the crap that is in everything we use. i spent most of the 2 months that i wasnt writing, preparing and gathering stock so that i could put my business out in the open. i have spent hours during my kids naps deciding exactly what i was going to offer, for how much, and all those other tiny details. i am sure it will be slow for a bit, but i hope to make something out of it. i hope more people will realize that chemicals suck and that they can find the same types of things they love...without em!

ive shared this before....but its so freaking true

moving on....as i look around my house im wondering why my husband hasnt left me yet. its a shit hole. ill admit it and while i apologize for the language, its quite true. there are toys and laundry and bits of food and dog hair etc etc everywhere. i cannot keep up!!! i have this vision of being this happy little housewife who keeps the home clean, the children alive and happy, who greets the hubby with a smooch and dinner when he gets home. HA! living in a dream world! i mean, i am certainly a happy wife, but all the rest of that is a joke. i clean this house up best i can when the kids are sleeping. so it looks great for 2.5 hours. after that...forget it. they wake, there are toys everywhere, because...we cant just take out 1 or 2 toys to play with....we have to dig to the bottom of the toy box for that toy no one uses and in doing so we dump out all the others in the way. 

the laundry...forget it. i wash it...fold it, put it back in the basket to "bring it upstairs and put it away". what happens? we end up digging through said basket when we need clothes. the clothes then become unfolded, and thrown downstairs when dirty again. if i dont get those clothes upstairs asap...this is how we will be living until i do. 

i mean...am i the only one?

i posted a while back about how i was going to try and focus more on "me" and making sure i get some time for myself. well, i had my one moms day out months ago and it has not happened since. with a third baby coming it needs to happen, or i may actually go insane. the hubs says he understands and that i just need to tell him when i want to go. but he doesnt REALLY understand how we moms feel. he is a sweety for offering, but usually when i want to try...something has come up of course. the most peace i get usually comes around 8pm when everyone is in bed. sometimes i sit outside and just SIT. the weather is usually super calm at that time...its quiet...and still light enough out. i typically get to watch the sun set. aaaaaaaand then i am in bed by 9 haha. yipeeeee a whole hour to myself! i have to HAVE to get better about this before this one comes. i think its crazy now...i cant even begin to imagine 3. 

until next rant!

xo

update

This mama is on a but of a hiatus. Focusing on my natural product bizz preperations! (See prior post) will be back in a bit!! 

Check out @naturali_nourished on insta to see whats going on!! 

Xo

...big things happening

__________ Monday friends! (you can fill in the blank b/c you never know with Mondays lol.)  I have been MIA the last week or so because life determined that I be, and also because I have been busy with a new venture I am going to be tackling. I am so excited. In January I did a post about goals I wanted to set for this year...not resolutions. To me, a resolution is a promise you make all too soon and then hardly ever keep it. A goal however is something that you aspire to, something that you have hopes of achieving but without the added pressure that making a resolution brings. 

one of my goals this year was to focus more on myself, and doing things that make me happy. and that's not to say that I am an un happy person. I am not! I have a great life, friends and family. But if I have learned anything after having kids, it is that ME time is so important and you don't realize that until you don't get to have it. Something that makes me happy is sharing my LOVE of chemical free living. I love introducing people to essential oils and how I use them in my home. I love showing people affordable ways to cut the junk out of daily life. After months and months of jotting down ideas, giving people samples, and experimenting I have decided what I want to do. 

 yes!!! "mama made" all natural products for home and body love:) this has been something that I have been contemplating for months. there is a lot that goes into starting a little bizz like this and of course I have to make sure I follow rules and regs before I launch it, but the more I thought and the more I think, the more I realize this is something that will make ME happy. I already am!! Even just coming up with a name was enough to get me glowing. I know there are many other "businesses" big and small like this out there now, and I do not have plans for world domination haha, but I am an advocate for shopping locally. I feel like doing something like this in my little community could be a great thing. There are many that have asked me to make them things, and many I already have...so the interest for products like this seems high enough. Not to mention I have many SAHM friends who do hobbies and things on the side. I think they would relate to what I am feeling and what I want to do/why I want to do it. 

for the last week I have been trying to narrow down which items I will make first. I obviously dont want to spend too much money right off the bat b/c then there is not much point to this. Slowly I have been building up my ingredient stash so that I can begin. I don't however want to make too much too soon, b/c I want these items to be as fresh as possible for when they are to be listed for sale. My wheels have been turning for so long. I am going to start small and am hoping to open up an Etsy shop withing the next few months. Instagram will be my go to for the time being. Just have to make sure everything is legal and ready to go before I launch the shop.

what will I be including you ask? well let me tell ya !! the plans are for "body love & home love" products.

bath salts, body scrubs, bar soaps, bath bombs, body butters/creams, hand creams, lip balms/salves, foot scrubs, milk baths, roller bottle blends, foaming hand wash, all purpose cleaning sprays, diffuser bombs, etc...and the only ingredients I will be using will be all natural/organic. Nothing with additives, or chemicals. Hence "naturali nourished." And yes, I realize the spelling is incorrect...but I wanted to make it unique, and to be honest...I kinda hate capitol letters anyways.

wish me luck on this new adventure. It is a small idea but one that this mama is truly excited about. Updates to come!!

xo